So Far Away
by DarkShadowsFalling
Summary: Elwood is trying to cope with the loss of Jake. Can he deal with it and find the strength to keep playing the blues? Set after Blues Brothers 2000


**So Far Away**

**A Blues Brothers Fan Fiction. In memory of Jake Blues and the man who portrayed him, John Belushi. May they both rest in peace and be remembered forever. The Blues Brothers belong to Dan Aykroyd/John Belushi/John Landis. Don't Sue.**

Elwood Blues just couldn't sleep. Again. This was getting to be too normal.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. He sighed and got out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom to get a glass of water.

As he stood at the sink, he raised his head to look in the mirror. His heart nearly stopped as he saw two brandy brown eyes watching him from the shadows. They watched him like they did in the past.

He spun fast, only to find himself face to face with the shower curtain. He quickly looked behind him to the mirror and saw that the eyes weren't there anymore. He sighed and covered his face with his hand.

He couldn't stop thinking about Jake. Jake Blues, his soul brother and partner in music and crime. The man who had drug Elwood into so many of his pranks and shenanigans at the orphanage they'd been in as children.

But Jake would never look at him again. After they'd been sent to prison back in 1980, Jake had died a few years later within the walls of the Joliet Correctional Facility. Elwood hadn't seen him for quite a while and suddenly it had made sense why.

When Elwood had been released a few months ago, he'd expected to find Jake waiting for him outside the gates with that self-satisfied grin and that cocky attitude that simply was him. But he never came. Elwood waited there for 24 hours and he never came.

And then the Warden had come out. They had failed to inform Elwood that Jake had passed on. They wouldn't tell him how or the details. But the man had shown some compassion and Elwood thanked him for letting him know.

It was Willie "Too Big" Hall, the drummer of the Blues Brothers' Band, who helped him get back to Chicago. He'd sent one of his dancers, Matara, to get him and then gave him a job.

And Elwood had begun to do what he knew Jake would have wanted him to do. He began to put the band back together. But first, he gained two new partners. Mighty Mack McTeer, a tall, large man who had been Willie's bartender with a surprisingly strong voice, became the new lead singer. And Buster Blues, a 10 year old orphan that the Penguin had been trying to raise as she'd done Jake and Elwood, became the second harmonica player and back up vocalist.

He managed to get everyone else back together and they went on the road, trying to sing and get gigs. During that time, they acquired another singer. Cabel Chamberlain, or Cab, had been the real son of Curtis, the janitor in the orphanage who had treated Elwood and Jake like his own. Cab had never known the truth, had become a police officer. But he'd felt the calling of his blood and had become another Blues Brother.

Elwood was glad to have them all. He truly was. But it wasn't because of the music or because of their talent.

It was because he didn't want to be alone.

All of his life, from the time he was a baby, he'd had Jake at his side. They had grown up together, were never apart from each other except for the times when Jake served time in jail. But even then, Elwood would visit him frequently and write letters.

Even in the time he hadn't heard from Jake while he was in prison, Elwood had felt that he just wasn't able to write. But he hadn't heard that something was wrong or that Jake had died, so it had kept him going to think of his brother in with him.

And he'd suddenly found himself completely alone in the world when he left prison. Not only had Jake died, but Curtis as well. It was hard for him. Harder than he could ever admit.  
But the Penguin had thrust Buster at him, telling him to be the kid's mentor. But in truth, Buster had done more for him than he did for the kid. So when the nuns of the Our Lady of the Annunciation church had come after them to get Buster back, he'd taken the kid and ran, adding kidnapping to the steadily growing list of offenses.

But he just couldn't give Buster back. He needed him and all of the members of Blues Brothers. It was a necessity to him to live.

Elwood sat on the edge of the tub and pulled out a smoke. He lit one and took a deep drag from it, letting it calm his nerves. He closed his eyes.

This wasn't the first time he thought he'd seen Jake watching him in the dark. He felt it frequently and wished with all his soul that he could just see his brother once more. But he knew it wasn't going to happen and that it was all figments of a sorrow-soaked mind.

He felt a small body sit next to him and felt an arm go around him. He knew it was Buster without even opening an eye. The kid held him close.

"You okay, El?"

Elwood opened his eyes and looked down at Buster. He had the same eyes as Jake and it brought a bit of comfort to Elwood.

He nodded a bit. "Yeah…Just couldn't sleep. Came to get some water and thought I…well…I thought I saw Jake watching me…"

It was the first time he was admitting it to someone. He thought Buster would laugh at him or tell him he was crazy. But the boy, always intuitive, hugged him closer and chuckled lightly.

"Who's to say it isn't? Maybe he's worried about his little brother's well being and is watching over you."

Elwood sat for a moment before replying. "Maybe you're right. I've been telling myself that it's just my imagination, but…you could be right." He took another drag off his cigarette and sighed, feeling emotion well up in his chest.

"I just…I miss him so much." He said it quietly, not wanting to sound weak or womanly. But again, Buster brushed it off and looked up at him.

"Of course you do, Elwood. He was your brother. You were with him all the time. I'd be worried if you weren't having problems adjusting to not having him around…Have you even really let yourself mourn for him?" Buster asked, leaning on his hand.

Elwood blinked. No, he really hadn't. The moment he'd found out, Matara had come for him and he'd immediately gone to Chicago to get the band back together. Since then, he'd kept himself busy by singing and doing any gig he could get, no matter how small it was.

"No…I haven't. I feel like…if I do…he'll really be gone…" he replied haltingly, choking on unshed tears and emotion.

Buster placed a hand on his arm, making Elwood divert his attention to the boy. "It's time to let go, Elwood. Time to move on. Let yourself mourn. It's the only way…I know…Tomorrow night at the gig, why don't you do something for him? Remind the world that he was the original lead singer of the Blues Brothers and that you still remember him. Honor him." Buster's brandy brown eyes sparkled a bit in the semi light streaming in from a street light outside. It reminded Elwood of Jake when he got his crazy ideas.

The thought made him smile and he nodded. "You're right. I have to move on. Will you help me with this?"

Buster nodded. "You know I will. You saved me from the orphanage, so I owe you."

Elwood hugged the boy close. "No…you've repaid me many times over…" He loosened his grip. "All right, this is what we're going to do…"

The band watched, puzzled, as Buster ran around, getting things set up. He was a bundle of nervous energy tonight and it was making the band a bit nervous too.

"What are you doing, kid?" asked "Blue" Lou Marini, catching him by the collar of his suit jacket.

Buster looked at him. "I'm getting things ready for Elwood…Oh! That's right." He turned to the band and looked at them all seriously. "We're starting the set tonight differently. Elwood's gonna get up there and say something that's really important to him. When he gives you the cue, play this song." Buster handed them all sheet music.

Matt "Guitar" Murphy looked up. "But this is…"

Buster waved him off. "I know. But it would mean a lot if you guys would do it and not ask questions."

They all looked at each other and silently agreed. Murphy Dunne spoke for them all. "Sure. No problem."

The crowd streamed in, surprisingly in large droves. The entire auditorium was completely filled.

Buster watched with slight glee. He murmured to himself, "This is perfect…A great turnout…Elwood is going to be happy about this…"  
Finally, the lights went low and the announcer began the introduction.

"And now, for your listening pleasure, please help the Crystal Palace welcome The Blues Brothers!"

The applause was deafening and Elwood, Cab, Mack, and Buster all got on the stage. They took their bows and then Cab, Mack, and Buster all went off to the sides. Buster fished around in Elwood's briefcase for his harmonica.

Elwood stood in a blue-shaded light and sat on a stool. He took the microphone and began to speak.

"Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, for coming to our concert tonight. It really means a lot to me to look out and see fans from when it was Jake and me and to see new fans for the new incarnation of the band. Tonight, I really would like to start with a small tribute to my brother. As most of you know, he died a few years ago while he was still in the slammer. I didn't know until I got out myself…So it's been sort of hard to keep going on, but I've managed to with the new additions to the group. But…Jake was the heart and soul of the Blues Brothers. It was his passion, his drive, his ability to charm the audience with his voice that kept us going for so long. And I feel a little lost without him…With him being so far away from me…So I hope that you will all remember him fondly, like I do. While I sing our first song, I want you to close your eyes and think of him…" Elwood tapped his foot a couple times and indicated that the band should start playing.

A soft song, with light acoustics and piano rhythms began. Elwood closed his own eyes, thinking of his brother as he began to sing.

"_So far away  
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?  
It would be so fine to see your face at my door_

_Doesn't help to know that you're just time away…"_

Elwood found himself slightly choked up. Up on the stage, he felt alone as he sung. It reinforced that feeling of sadness in him that not having Jake brought.

Buster was suddenly at his side, playing mournfully on the harmonica, but offering his strength to Elwood, knowing how hard it must be to sing towards someone who wasn't there. He saw Elwood visibly relax when he got close.

"_Long ago, I reached for you _

_And there you stood  
Holding you again could only do me good  
How I wish I could, but you're so far away…_

Another song about movin' along the highway

_Can't say much of anything that's new  
If I could only work this life out my way  
I'd rather spend it bein' close to you…"_

Elwood thought about the last time they'd been on the road together, driving in the Bluesmobile. They'd listened to Sam & Dave on their 8-track and the companionship had been comfortable. Jake usually remained quiet, but it was because he liked to listen to Elwood sing along to the tunes.  
Elwood had asked him about that once. About why he didn't sing too. Jake had looked at him and replied, "Because, Motorhead, I sing all the time. I hear myself sing half of those songs a lot. I like hearing you sing them. It's something different and you have a good voice for them."

Elwood remembered being a little flustered after that. Jake didn't usually throw compliments his way, so it was kind of odd. But Jake had smirked and went back to listening all the same.

Elwood smiled as he remembered that and found his voice a bit stronger, the emotion a bit less painful. He gripped the microphone tighter and kept going.

"_But you're so far away  
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?  
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.  
But it doesn't help to know that you're so far away._

_Travelin' around sure gets me down and lonely  
Nothin' else to do but close my mind._

_I sure do hope the roads don't come to own me_

_There's so many dreams I've yet to find…"_

Elwood saw the doors in the back open and someone slip in. But he couldn't make out much. He knew the person was male, dressed in all black, with a black hat and shades. Most likely a fan. But Elwood couldn't seem to look away, perplexed by this late attendee. And it seemed that the man couldn't look away either, focused solely on Elwood.

The look disconcerted him. But at the same time, he felt a wave of nostalgia and comfort come over him. His mind wanted to believe he knew who it was. But his heart didn't want to identify him.

He threw himself into the last verse of the song, his eyes still locked with the man's.

"_But you're so far away  
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?_

_It would be so fine to see your face at my door  
But it doesn't help to know that you're so far away…"_

The song came to its conclusion and the band finished the last notes. The audience seemed completely moved. Silence fell through the auditorium, but still Elwood didn't move, watching the figure in the back.

Finally, the man pulled down his shades and brandy brown eyes met Elwood's baby blues. That familiar self-satisfied look and cocky grin made Elwood's heart ache.

The man mouthed to him, and Elwood could hear his words in his mind. "I'm always with you, ya Motorhead…As long as you keep the music alive, I'm always with you. Now stop bein' so sentimental and do what you do best. Knock 'em dead, little brother."

Elwood stepped forward a fraction and his hand rose a bit. "Jake…"

Jake turned, waving a hand as he went out the door. A last thought flitted across Elwood's mind.

"Love ya, El…See ya around."

And he was gone. Elwood knew it for certain this time. And even though his heart ached, he knew Jake had heard him. He knew Jake knew that he hadn't forgotten him or everything they'd been through.

And Elwood realized he wasn't alone, even with his brother gone. Buster stood beside him, giving him his strength and Mack and Cab had come to him, concerned because of his actions.

Elwood smiled and turned to the band. "One, two, one, two, three, four!"

The band began the intro to the regular set and Elwood did what he did best. And his brothers came around him, their voices joining his and the music played on, just as it had 18 years before. _  
_


End file.
